Remember Your Death
The funeral homily for my grandmother, Jeannine, who fell asleep in the Lord, 9 March 2025.
Wisdom 3:1-6, 9; Psalm 23; Thessalonians 4:13-18; Luke 12:35-40
I am grateful to be here and offer a few words at the funeral of so holy a woman. Jeannine is my grandmother and we grandchildren have always called her “Nonnie.”
A homily is traditionally given about the gospel. Gospel literally means “good news,” and I would like to take this opportunity frame Jeannine’s life within the context of the Catholic Gospel message, because she is a great example of one who lived her life in harmony with the Gospel.
The good news is this: That God made us because He is perfect love and desires to share that love with creatures because He is generous. But we humans are unique. He made us men and women not only to be loved but to love; he made us for loving communion with Him and one another.
But in order for us to reciprocate God’s love, He also gave us free-will, the power to chose God or deny Him, the freedom to know God or ignore Him, to love God or curse Him, the freedom to serve God or to serve ourselves. Adam and Eve were deceived by the devil into thinking they could be equals with God, that they too could be gods and decide what is best for themselves without obedience to God’s laws.
We call this decision by Adam and Eve, Original Sin, because that first sin introduced sin and death into the world. Death and all the evils, injustices, and sufferings of the world are the result of that original sin and the sins of the human race that have been committed since the beginning; and I think we can all agree we have made a pretty big mess of things.
But God never withdrew His love from us and even while man was sinning he learned to repent and ask for God’s forgiveness and because some men were righteous, as we read about in the book of Wisdom today, God began to prepare for these righteous men a beautiful path of salvation that would restore us to the relationship we lost when Adam and Eve sinned. That gathering together of the people of God, who worship and serve God according to His revelation, is called the Church. We call the Church before Christ, the Jews and we call the Church after Christ, the Catholic Church because this is what happened.
In the fullness of time, God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to earth. The Second Person of the Triune God became a man. Without giving up any of His divinity, Christ took on all of our humanity, except sin. Why? Because only by becoming a man could God conquer sin and death. Jesus had to die because death is the just punishment for sin, but because He is God, death did not conquer Him, he conquered death, forever. No longer is man destined to eternal separation from God in hell because of his sins. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, meaning that He came to restore us to communion with God through Himself. How is this possible?
It's not automatic, we still have free will. We still have to freely choose to know, love, and serve Him. How do we do that? First, we have to believe that everything He has revealed to us through the prophets and the apostles is true. Secondly, we need to repent of our sins and beg for God’s mercy with firm amendment to live the rest of our lives in peace and repentance, rightly worshiping God according to His precepts. Thirdly, we are invited by God to be coheirs of the kingdom with Christ, adopted sons and daughters of Our Heavenly Father. We do that by uniting our lives to Christ in the sacramental life of the Church. What is the sacramental life of the Church?
1) Baptism by water and the spirit, 2) Confirmation where we receive the seal of the Holy Spirit like the Apostles did when Jesus laid hands on them and again at Pentecost, and 3) the Eucharist because Jesus said, “Unless you eat my body and drink my blood you have no life within you.” We also need the other sacraments: confession, marriage, holy orders, and anointing of the sick, because these mysteries make up THE Way that Jesus instituted with His Apostles.
The Way Jesus set up for us to get to Heaven is through the sacramental life of the Church. And who in the Church did Jesus give the authority and responsibility to—to guard and distribute the sacraments? The Apostles—and the Catholics bishops are the successors of the Apostles—every one of these traces their lineage back to one of the Apostles. Priests are just deputies of the bishops. As St Ireneus said in the second century, “where the bishop is, there is the Church.”
So, the good news is, you can reverse the effects of sin in your life, and you don’t have to be condemned to hell, as your sins justly deserve. You can go to heaven and Jesus has given us the Catholic Church as The Way of salvation. To reject the Church is to reject God’s plan for your salvation. To reconcile yourself with the Church and live the sacramental life in peace and repentance for the remainder of your life is the only way you will get to heaven AND ever see Nonnie again, because this is the path that Nonnie followed, and I am pretty sure Nonnie is in heaven.
Now, it’s not the tradition of the Catholic Church to eulogize or canonize the dead on the day of their funeral. This homily is for you, not Nonnie. Today we offer this funeral mass for the soul of Jeannine because it is our duty to pray for the dead. Even when we know someone has died with the graces of the Church as Jeannine has, there is still the probability that the soul will necessarily undergo a time of purification in Purgatory.
Let me clarify: Purgatory is not hell. Purgatory is good. Purgatory is a state of purification for souls who still need to make restitution for sins that have been forgiven, before entering into the full glory of heaven. Purgatory is the anteroom of heaven and is only for those who have made it. It is not a second chance at salvation.
For one who has prepared one’s self for Heaven, as Nonnie has, Purgatory is a merciful gift of God that purifies souls before they enter Heaven. We can’t just stumble into the presence of God; that would destroy us. Purgatory is willed suffering. If Nonnie is in purgatory she is suffering willingly. Purgatory is standing outside the banquet hall longing to go in, simultaneously knowing you’re not perfectly ready yet. In a sense, its because you know you need to take a shower, put on your best clothes, do your hair, etc. Entering heaven is the biggest event of your eternal life. It can’t be taken lightly.
Unfortunately, many souls remain in Purgatory longer than they need to due to a lack of prayers and penance offered for them by believers on earth. This is why it is so important to offer Masses and pray the Rosary for our beloved dead, because it greatly relieves their suffering. You might say, well, I don’t believe in a God that would allow Jeannine to suffer any more; she suffered enough. That may be true, but let me ask you this, did God allow Nonnie to suffer in this life? Yes, we all suffer in life. God does not cause suffering, we sinners cause suffering in the world. Suffering is the just effect of our individual sins and the collective sins of the entire world.
If I steal a $100 from you and I confess it and tell you I am sorry, but I don’t give you the $100 back, I haven’t made restitution. Suffering is how we make restitution for sin, so it makes sense that suffering is part of our purgation before heaven, here and after we die.
You might say, yes, but Nonnie wasn’t a sinner; she was so holy. Yes, she was holy, but she certainly sinned. We all sin. Only Jesus and his Blesses Mother lived their entire life without sinning. And because we sin, we suffer the effects of sin. And if we are not careful, we may suffer the effects of our sin for all of eternity. Here I am not talking about Nonnie, I’m talking about you.
Nonnie’s father, Bompie, kept a card in his wallet with a list of the Four Last Things. This was a common practice among Catholics in his day, and Nonnie would have learned about the Four Last Things in her Catechism classes growing us. The Four Last Things are Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell. They are the fundamental realities that every person must face. These teachings serve as a reminder of human mortality, the necessity of repentance, and the eternal consequences of our earthly decisions.
1. Death, a consequence of original sin, is a certainty for all of us. By death we mean the death of this earthly body, but we are made in the image of God meaning we have an immortal soul. In today’s reading from St. Paul, we are instructed that “the dead in Christ will rise first”, their souls will be reunited with their bodies, and “God will bring [into heaven] those who have fallen asleep in Him”, meaning united to Him through the sacraments.
2. Judgment: The Church teaches that there are two judgments:
Particular Judgment – Immediately after death, the soul stands before Christ and is judged based on its faith and works (CCC 1021-1022).
General Judgment – At the end of time, all will be resurrected, and God’s justice will be revealed before all creation (CCC 1038-1041).
St. Alphonsus Liguori warns that nothing will escape God’s judgment: "Our past sins will stand before us, our conscience will accuse us, and Christ, as the just Judge, will render His verdict: Come or Depart!"
The Church teaches that judgment is not based on feelings but on objective reality—either a soul has lived according to God’s law or it has rejected it. Unfortunately, many souls are lost because they presume upon God's mercy but fail to repent and be reconciled with the Church before death.
3. Heaven: Heaven is the eternal reward of the righteous, where the soul experiences the Beatific Vision—when the righteous see God face to face and worship Him for all of eternity.
Heaven is not automatic—one must strive for holiness and actively cooperate with God’s grace in this life, before death. There is a modern tendency to assume everyone goes to heaven. That is simply not the case.
4. Hell: God is loving and merciful and he is also just. He would not be God if he was not perfect justice. And Hell is the just punishment for those who die in unrepented mortal sin. Hell is a state of eternal suffering, where the damned experience the loss of God, eternal regret, and eternal torments.
Hell is real and it would be uncharitable of me not to tell you that many souls go there. Funeral Masses should scare the hell out of us, literally. The greatest victory of the enemy is when he convinces people that hell does not exist. Many modern Catholics fall into the sin of presumption. Presumption is persisting in serious sin assuming you will be saved and go to heaven.
Nonnie was not presumptuous. She knew these four last things and spent her whole life preparing for death. She was like the faithful servant in today’s Gospel parable:
· Jesus describes faithful servants who keep their lamps burning, meaning they remain in a state of grace and are prepared to meet their Master (God) at any moment.
· The Church teaches that a holy death requires perseverance in grace, avoiding mortal sin, and staying close to the sacraments.
· Catholics practice vigilance by regular confession, prayer, penance, and reception of the Eucharist, ensuring they are spiritually prepared whenever Christ calls them home.
· Devotion to Our Lady through the daily mediation of the rosary is also a powerful habit Nonnie learned from her father, Bompie.
And Finally, Jeannine died with the graces of the Church receiving Last Rites: Confession, Holy Anointing, Viaticum, and the Apostolic Pardon.
The last rites are the Church’s most powerful spiritual aid for the dying. These sacraments, given at the end of a Christian’s earthly life, prepare the soul for its final journey and judgment before God.
· Confession is crucial at life’s end because it restores the soul to sanctifying grace if it has fallen into mortal sin. The Catechism (CCC 1446) teaches that reconciliation with God through confession is necessary for salvation, because sin separates us from God.
· Holy Anointing., formerly called Extreme Unction, is given when death is imminent. The Catechism (CCC 1526-1532) explains that this sacrament imparts the Holy Spirit’s grace to strengthen the soul, provide peace, and, if it is God’s will, restore bodily health. But most importantly, this sacrament unites the sick person more fully to Christ’s Passion, allowing suffering to be redemptive rather than merely painful.
· Viaticum, meaning “food for the journey,” is the reception of the Holy Eucharist as one’s last communion before death. The Catechism (CCC 1524) teaches that it is the sacrament of passing over from death to life, fulfilling Christ’s words: “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day” (John 6:54). Viaticum is the greatest gift a soul could receive before death, ensuring union with Christ in their last moments.
· And finally, the Apostolic Pardon, is a blessing given by a priest to grant the dying full remission of punishment due to sin. The Catechism (CCC 1471-1473) affirms that while sin’s guilt is removed through confession, temporal punishment remains and is usually purified in purgatory. The Apostolic Pardon, granted with the authority of the Church, applies a plenary indulgence, ensuring immediate entrance into heaven for those properly disposed and takes effect at the hour of death.
This powerful grace reflects the infinite mercy of God and the authority of Christ’s redemption through the ministry of the Church. Popes and theologians, including St. Alphonsus Liguori, greatly emphasized its importance, urging priests never to neglect giving it to the dying. Jeannine received all four of these phenomenal graces before she died.
Conclusion
So, is Jeannine in Heaven? She certainly hoped so. Nonnie spent her whole life fostering the gifts of faith, hope, and love, preparing herself for these moments. And seeing as she died in the loving arms of Christ through the sacramental graces of His Church, we also have very good reason to hope that she is in heaven. In the Greek tradition we pray “Save Oh Lord and have mercy on those who have fallen asleep in faith and hope of the resurrection.”
I will leave you with Jeannine’s own words about this hope. Mom found this in Nonnie’s Bible a few days ago. It’s a meditation on death that Nonnie wrote out for herself. It reads, “Death… is the beginning of new life [so] we have to surrender ourselves to our Maker and give our life once more for His taking, giving back all that we are and have. In this surrender, I willingly leave my loved ones in Hope of being met with openness by my Savior and His Blessed Mother Mary to escort me to my new life.”